Thursday, June 17, 2010

Realfluid

Merlotte's

Arlene flashed the stranger a dazzlingly flirtatious smile as he settled in front of her, noticing the way he arranged his jacket carefully as he sat on the stool at Merlotte's Bar and Grill. "Time to hoik up the girls a bit more, Ah think ah could get some good tips out of this one" she thought as she put down the pickle jar. The smile dropped off her face rapidly as he returned her friendly grin with a mouth that looked as if it had been torn out of a Great White. He nodded, and pushed the snow white fringe out of his eyes as he pointed at the display behind the bar "I'd love a bottle of B neg please, pretty lady." Arlene was stuck halfway between a scowl and a simper at the sound of his accent - English, she thought? - and covered her annoyance at being flustered by humphing her way over to the microwave, then slamming the door shut on the bottle of Trublood. The Australian vampire chuckled quietly to himself as she stalked her way into the kitchen as the microwave pinged. He listened to her ranting about "One more o' them dirty bloodsuckers to deal with!" as a large dark man in full makeup leant over the countertop and assessed him. LaFayette slowly scanned the foreign vampire up and down and mentally added up the cost of his fashionable clothing. He then murmured with audible hunger in his voice "Mhmmm baby...." and licked his lips - which caused the stranger at the bar who was afraid of nothing except angry husbands and synthetic fabrics to widen his pale blue eyes in alarm.


After the bottle had been slopped begrudgingly onto a coaster in front of him, the Lord Winter Jefferson took a tentative sip - he'd heard so much about it from his kind who had travelled to lands where vampires were attempting to join the mainstream. He instantly turned ashen , then reached out desperately for an empty glass - bottle- anything to discreetly spit the liquid abomination into. "Oh sweet Jesus - what the blue fuck IS that? It's worse than decaf!" The young waitress that was wandering around stopped by him and patted him on the back in sympathy as he dry retched. He straightened up with a groan that turned into a "Ohhhhhh fuuuuu - uhhh - hello there!" as he noticed how attractive she was, despite the gap between her front teeth. She blinked at him prettily yet blankly then launched off on some long excited babble about some guy named Beeeeelll.... which the vampire half heard before his eyes started glazing over. There's several ways to make a woman stop talking, but Winter prefers the one method- and he dipped the blonde back and silenced her with a deep kiss, in the back of his mind vaguely noticing that she tasted like pecan pie. The waitress struggled against him squawking at first but soon melted into his arms, wrapping her tongue around his fangs and running her hand down to fondle his ass with a passion that surprised him.


In the corner of his eye he noticed a dark blur and heard a roar of "Sookeh is MIIIIIINE!" as he was slammed across the room, smashing into the mirror behind the bar. Winter picked himself up and turned to face his attacker with a vicious snarl, eyes flaring red - he had been taken by surprise, but that momentary weakness was now gone. He roared as he threw the other vampire up against the wall with lightning speed, splinters of brick showering the frightened humans in the bar. (Who still seem to be not used to this sort of thing, which is kinda bizarre when you think about what's happened in this town over the last two years...) Winter held the other vampire by his jaw, and snarled into his face with gritted fangs "I don't care what you think is yours. They don't call me a spoiled brat for nothing... if I decide I like it, then it's MINE. Understand?" Bill growled something incoherent involving the words sheriff and bloodright, but he choked it off with bulging eyes as the Elder vampire tightened his grip – this time using his other hand on his testes. Winter leaned in close, and added in a conversational tone "By the way.... sideburns? Still? Bitch, please." He dropped Compton, slung the tittering Sookie over his shoulder and strolled casually out the bar, pausing only to kick the dog that had suddenly appeared snarling at him, punting it clear across the car park.


The hush in Merlotte's turned into a disturbed murmuring as the barflies crawled out from under the tables they had all dived under. One by one they all turned to look at Bill who was still on his knees whimpering and clutching his groin, none offering to help him up. “Sookeh....” A good twenty minutes passed then the door slammed back open and Lord Winter walked back through, dragging the pouting waitress with him. “Frankly, mate – no idea what you see in her. She never shuts up, she doesn't listen and people drop dead like flies around her. She also kept going on about trying to read my mind but not seeing anything but Lady Gaga videos played on repeat. She's all yours – enjoy, Bill Compton.” Winter shook his head in disgust and sauntered back out again grumbling about all the fangbangers expecting to be paid in this town. He checked that he still had the body glitter that he'd saved from his last rave, and started his Ducati on the road to Forks, WA. That way he could take advantage of all the screaming sixteen year olds and their mothers that he'd ever want.

___________________________________________________________________


Yeah, so a kinda pisstake fanfic, not a fashion post. I was bored at work, what can I say? Except Trueblood and all it's characters are property of HBO etc etc.

14 comments:

  1. I LOVE this, more visits to Bon Temps please!!
    =^..^=

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL!!! Lady Gaga videos on repeat?

    Awesomely written, mate.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Please, take our tourists. I'm sick of the goofy Twilight Fans buying Forks, WA shirts in Seattle. x_x

    ReplyDelete
  4. Summer DeadlightJune 18, 2010 at 3:22 AM

    <33333 my internet went down!!! but I love the story and you're just simply irresistable!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Gany wants you to return for LaFayette!

    ReplyDelete
  6. "By the way.... sideburns? Still? Bitch, please." Best line eveah! and sooo true! Winter FTW!

    ReplyDelete
  7. You portrayed Bill perfectly...ahh if Erik would have just killed him in Season two. Only good things he ever did were in the 1st one. 'Sookeh' Request, you meeting the vampire 'queen'.

    ReplyDelete
  8. thank you...instant smiles (look out glittery forks residents)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Awesome awesome awesome - love the fact that you couldnt stand Sookie after all and brought her back. More please *applauds*

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh no, you hurt Sam! But I still want to do bad things with you.

    ReplyDelete

Don't be scared, SAY IT.